Setting & Keeping Goals

We've all heard it before, but it's something that we think we can all use a reminder on -- that's what makes a good goal. Remember the criteria for goal setting? It's using SMART Goals. So here is what a SMART Goal is and how to set goals that will give you the best chance of success.

Then, after that, we're going to show you the difference in goals that Fran set last year and this

year and we think you'll see why this year's goals will have a better chance of success.

Creating S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

Specific - A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six "W" questions:

*Who: Who is involved?
*What: What do I want to accomplish?
*Where: Identify a location.
*When: Establish a time frame.
*Which: Identify requirements and constraints.
*Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.

EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, "Get in shape." But a specific goal would say, "Join a health club and workout 3 days a week."

Measurable - Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.

To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as......How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished?

Attainable - When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.

You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

Realistic - To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love.

Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.

Timely - A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there's no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 10 lbs, when do you want to lose it by? "Someday" won't work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, "by May 1st", then you've set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal.

T can also stand for Tangible - A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.

2008 New Year’s Resolutions

1. Embrace a healthier lifestyle
a. Better food choices
b. 3X/week Gym

2. Complaint Free

3. Do something 1X/month

4. Don’t make decisions for other people – say what I want

2009 New Year’s Goals

1. Weight
Week 1. Recognize Hunger and feeling of Not being Hungry
Cut Out French Fries

Week 2. Recognize Satiated Feeling
Stop Eating when no longer hungry
Cut Out French Fries

Week 3. Recognize Satiated Feeling and Stop Eating
Cut Out French Fries
Alternate a drink with club soda

Week 4. Stop Eating when no longer hungry
Cut Out French Fries
Alternate a drink with club soda
Be aware of Impulse Eating
Week 5. Stop Eating when no longer hungry
Cut Out French Fries
Alternate a drink with club soda
Stop Impulse Eating

2. Exercise:

Week 1. Walk Away the pounds tape 3x – 20 min
Strength Training 6 exercises light weights twice a week

Week 2. Walk Away the pounds tape or trampoline 4X/wk 20Min.
Strength Training 8 exercises – increase Weights 3X/wk

Week 3. Add 5 minutes to cardio – 25 min, 4X/wk
Strength 4X/wk – 2X chest and back
2X Arms and Legs

Week 4. Add 5 min to cardio – 30 min
Strength 4-5X/WK 2X chest, back and shoulders
2X Arms and Legs
1X Balance

Week 5. Add 10 min to cardio – 40 min, 4X/wk
Strength – Continue Program

3. Embrace my mantra that I don’t have to take care of everything
and everyone – learn to say NO.

4. Keep our house clutter-free.
a. Use Office for bills not ready to pay or mail.
b. Put all torn out articles in files.
c. Throw Out!!!

5. Finish Projects:
1. Mary’s needlepoint
2. Needlepoint from 30 years ago – one square left
3. Jared’s Rug – from 20 years ago.
4. Redo existing albums and scan to computer.
5. Sort, scan and put in albums pics in boxes.
6. Finish knitting sweater

6. Telephone etiquette

7. Work on staying focused – Use timer

So let us know how you're doing with your goals.

Small Steps to Big Change

Making Big Change Easier

This article has been reprinted from DailyOM.

When we decide that it's time for big changes in our lives, it is wise to ease into them by starting small. Small changes allow us to grow into a new habit and make it a permanent part of our lives, whereas sudden changes may cause a sense of failure that makes it difficult to go on, and we are more likely to revert to our old ways. Even if we have gone that route and find ourselves contemplating the choice to start over again, we can decide to take it slowly this time, and move forward.

Sometimes the goals we set for ourselves are merely indicators of the need for change and are useful in getting us moving in the right direction. But it is possible that once we try out what seemed so ideal, we may find that it doesn’t actually suit us, or make us feel the way we had hoped. By embarking on the path slowly, we have the chance to look around and consider other options as we learn and grow. We have time to examine the underlying values of the desire for change and find ways to manifest those feelings, whether it looks exactly like our initial goal or not. Taking small steps forward gives us time to adjust and find secure footing on our new path.

Life doesn't always give us the opportunity to anticipate or prepare for a big change, and we may find ourselves overwhelmed by what is in front of us. By choosing one thing to work on at a time, we focus our attention on something manageable, and eventually we will look up to see that we have accomplished quite a bit. Forcing change is, in essence, a sign that we do not trust the universe’s wisdom. Instead, we can listen to our inner guidance and make changes at a pace that is right for us, ensuring that we do so in alignment with the rhythm of the universe.

What do you think?

The OM-Tip

A friend of mine who was a major catalyst in my mental "makeover", Kristy Iris, is a feng shui practioner and has a website www.fizom.com and newsletter. The day I wrote this issue's "Visions" Musings, I received her newsletter and thought one of her articles complemented it:

"Om is a universal sound. It brings peace and balance. And that is what we seek here. How to live a life that is fully expressing your most authentic self? This is about finding the balance of your inner world - the om and the outer world- the fiz.

Life may be a bit bumpy at times. You may be laughing that this is an understatement- bumpy like an avalanche.
Hold on.
Know that this too shall pass.
It's all an illusion.
Try thinking of your life as a show of what your inner self needs to experience. Look back- haven't you found that often what seemed like the most heartbreaking, end of the world as you know it situation, turned out to be the biggest gift for you? It was a defining moment in your life. It's just that when you are in the middle of the "show", and you are putting on an award winning performance, as all your players are, it's a little difficult to really remember it's all a show.
Can you enjoy the show? Can you laugh at the plot line? Can you giggle at how well the drama was written? How will you, the star of the show turn it all around and into a happy ending?
Think about it. Write out your happy ending.
You know, you are also the playwright. You can create the happily ever after you desire.
And- you deserve it!

Dr. Phil Sez

Sometimes, when we find our lives spiraling out of control, we turn our anger on others. But, is that really how you want to behave? Is your anger making your life more difficult, interfering with your relationships, causing you chronic unhappiness?

Dr. Phil gives the following suggestions:

Define your payoffs, then cut them out. You're getting something from your behavior, or else you wouldn't do it. Work on gaining confidence—low self-esteem and pent up guilt gives you an excuse to sit on the sidelines. It gives you an excuse to be less than you can be.

Behave your way to success. Your past easily becomes your future because what you fear, you create. If you feel deprived of some experience, or emotion from some one else, give yourself emotional closure. Give yourself what you didn't get from someone else now. Create what you want out of life. If you want to be loved, be loveable. If you want to get your family interested in your life, get interested in their lives.

You choose your behavior; you chose the consequences. You are an adult now and you need to take responsibility for your actions. You can't blame your family anymore. You are old enough to do something about your feelings. Your family can't take this on. The greatest stress in life is to hold someone else accountable for something they can't control. The only person you control is you.

It all comes back to the life law statement, "You've got to name it before you can claim it." If you are stuck in an unsatisfying life, ask yourself what would make you happy? Write out what you need to hear from your family that you've never heard before. Be very specific. Give your list to your family. Ask them to read it, consider it and respond. Open your heart, put the spirit of criticism aside. Be ready to do the same for your family.

Ending The Cycle

This was originally printed in the June 5, 2008 DailyOM and we thought it a fitting compliment to the newsletter:

Ending The Cycle
Start Today

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, and we may even have given up. However, each day offers us an opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. We may even say out loud that we have tried and struggled and have not found a way, but that we are open to help, and that we intend to keep working to create change for ourselves. Making this declaration to the universe, and to ourselves, may be just the remedy for the stagnation we are experiencing. And, it can be done today, right now.

It is difficult to understand, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made have added up to our current situation, but it is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves. If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed. We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that in the past, we did our best, and we exhibited many positive qualities, and had many fine moments on our path to the present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, and that this will help us with our current choices.

When we do this kind of work on how we view our past self, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner shift may allow us to get out of the cycle we’ve been in that’s been keeping us stuck. Now we can declare our intentions to the universe, knowing that we have done the inner work necessary to allow our lives to change. Allow today to be the day to end cycles and enter into a new way of being.

Underneath The Noise-Hearing the Whisper

Reprinted from DailyOM.

You may have noticed that if you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise generally only hurts your throat and adds to the chaos. Similarly, that still, small voice within each of us does not try to compete with the mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise.

It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads delivering messages that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalized from childhood or from the culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the center of our being, and their urgency is what catches our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away.

We may find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and confidence.

Mental Prisons

I get a daily email entitled ''Insight of the Day". On July 14th, I received the following which I thought was a complement to our "Visions" article "Are You Afraid To Be Happy?"

Mental Prisons

"Some time ago I did a show on Habits. They play an important role in your life. Like many aspects of your life, habits can be considered both a blessing and a curse. Robert Russell in his magnificent little book "You Try It" wrote that habit was God's way of making good automatic in your life.

I had a wonderful friend in Atlanta, the late Dr. Jay Dishman, who wrote an excellent article about habit in his monthly newsletter dated February 1985. I have shared Dr. Dishman's article with thousands of people around the world. Today I want to share it with you. Here goes!

"Recently I visited Alcatraz Prison. Once it housed the most hardened of criminals. Today it is open to tourists under the direction of the United States Parks Department. Many men have tried to escape Alcatraz; no one is known to have succeeded. As I listened to the tour guide explain the impossibility of escape, I thought of other prisons equally confining but where the doors are never locked, no guards walk the halls, and escape is encouraged and possible. That prison is Habit."

Our habit is thinking about ourselves and our environment as a jail or a paradise. We need but to look around us to see people who are rich emotionally and materially because they think and feel rich. We also see people who are laden with emotional and material debt because they think lack. Some are inspired with vision, others are encumbered with doubt. Some are moved by ambition, others feel safer in monotony. Some reach for the mountain tops, others huddle in the pits. Some seek opportunity, others wait for it to knock. The sad fact is that more people are confined by their thoughts than are fed by them.

Negative thinking shuts us in a prison, but there is a way out. The apostle Paul said, "Be transformed by the renewal of your mind." Paul knew a lot about prisons, both physical and mental. You renew your life by renewing your mind. You renew your mind when you change your habit of thinking.

Dr. Jay Dishman helped thousands change their habit of thinking in his lifetime. Now hopefully he has helped you."

Bob Proctor

Bob Proctor is a speaker, personal success coach and author of the best selling book "You Were Born Rich."